Dear Tiny:

You are welcome. That “tiny ‘what if?’ voice” in your head- I know this voice. Considering its persistence, and refusal to be satisfied- it is not a tiny voice. No matter how many times you answer its questions, it will keep coming up with more questions. If you ask your boyfriend for the meaning of the text, and he gives you a satisfying explanation, the tiny voice will be gone.. just for a short while. It will be back with the next question, and the next. So better not feed it. That tiny-what-if voice does not really seek answers- it is like an itch that keeps wanting to be scratched.

There is a way to deal with this voice so that it doesn’t destroy your relationship. (1) Let another voice be louder: “I believe in never taking out my anxiety or depression on others”, and “I DO trust him”, (2) lessen your anxiety every day by practicing Mindfulness, aerobic exercise, and more.

There is a principle in U.S. criminal law called “reasonable doubt”. When a jury is to decide whether a person accused of a crime is guilty or not guilty, the jury is instructed to ignore doubts similar to to the tiny what-if voice you mentioned, because many people are anxious and doubt a whole lot. So, the instruction is to not consider a doubt unless it is a reasonable doubt.

anita