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Hi TeaK,
Funny (or maybe not) that you mention the inner child. It’s precisely there that my life went from something I have wonderful memories of, to something dark and afraid, starting at about 10 years old or so… which has perpetuated to the present.
I just got a copy of “Home Coming” by John Bradshaw, which is inner child work. I intuited (which is how I do most of my serious ‘thinking’) that if childhood is where things went sideways, then that’s where I should at least *start* looking.
With my departed therapist, I’ve learned a few things about myself. My issues with hair trigger anger/outrage are a learned defensive response to anything which feels threatening, anything which is diminishing of me. When I was a little kid, I was powerless over pretty much everything; anger *feels* powerful, even if it isn’t. Better to feel angry and powerful than to feel afraid and powerless. Or so my childish unreason went. Worked well enough to get me through that I never “saw” any reason to change it (never got into the habit of self examination or questioning… just hanging on to get through the day).
It’s been a minor revelation thus far. I’m barely into it, and it feels like it was written specifically for me. I hope it keeps on like this!
I’ll certainly look up what you suggested; I like to cast a wide net when searching for help, and the more sources the better.
Thanks for your quick reply, it’s appreciated… and nice to hear from you again, as well.