Dear Madi:

It reads like he is/ has been very troubled about his parents’ broken marriage (“he would explain to me at length about all the broken marriages he has seen, including his own parents”)- if his parents’ marriage was troubled while he was growing up, then he was understandably troubled as a child and onward, witnessing his parents’ bad marriage. This would explain why he repeatedly brought up the topic of marriage to you, even though it wasn’t a topic that was relevant to you and him.

It would have been appropriate if he talked about his parents’ troubled marriage to a professional counselor who could listen to him objectively and help him, instead of talking about it with you, a non-objective listener (because of your emotional involvement with him).

“I’m just so in love with him but I don’t think he loves me the same way.. I love him but I keep asking myself, is that enough when he is unsure about what he wants “- reads like he loves you but he is troubled about his parents’ marriage. Given that (1) this is your first relationship and you are not seeking marriage at this time, (2) this relationship is not yet one year old, (3) he stopped his activity on the dating app about 6 months ago, and he stopped talking about (his disinterest in) marriage two months ago, and the relationship has been great for the last two months, maybe you can be okay in the relationship as it is right now. But because of your increased anxiety in the relationship, it may help you to attend short-term counseling. Do you have such an option?

anita