Dear Carly:

I hope that venting does help you feel better. In August 2018, at 21, you lived in your husband’s small town attending college. You shared that at first his family “pretended to like (you)”, but then his sister and mother turned against you, “got extremely personal info about past mistakes” that you were “just recovering from”, told “anyone who will listen endless lies and tales of how horrid” a person they alleged you to be, creating situations to make you and your husband look bad, and all the while you “never did anything to them”. You planned at the time to graduate and move away from your husband’s small town.

Fast forward three years, at 24, you shared that back when you were living in your husband’s town, you told your parents that you were having “a lot of trouble with bullying and rumors”, and they didn’t believe you, saying that  you were exaggerating. You saved enough money moved back to your hometown regardless of your parents’ lack of support. When you told your parents about your husband being abusive, they told you that you “must be lying”, and refused to let you live with them. You then purchased a house in your home town, and you currently live there with your husband and sister, barely earning enough to pay for your loans and your house, relying very heavily on your sister.  About your husband: “somewhat abusive.. apparently charismatic…  he goes out of his way to be nice in front of my parents, who will never see the real him”. You want to divorce him but you don’t have the money to do so.

“I fought so hard to escape the small town I was in before and to get to my hometown.. and it turned out to be just as bad. What can I even do? Is there a way out of this mess?”-

– I am sure that there is a way out of this mess, but it will take a good plan, patience and time. Clearly, involving your parents in this plan is not a good idea. If you would like to add anything more than you already shared about your husband, and about anyone/ anything else that may be relevant to putting together a good plan, please do and I will reply further.

anita