For as long as I can remember, I have taken it for granted that I was simply a weird and unloveable kid, who became a weird and dysfunctional adult. I’ve gone so far as to suspect that I’m autistic, because although many of the symptoms aren’t there, how else could I explain my complete lack of an emotional bond with my parents? And what about my paralyzing fear of confrontation? Why is it hard for me to love and be loved? These issues are so fundamental to who I am that I assumed they were genetic. I assumed that I was born broken.

You’re both telling me that I could be wrong about that. I don’t know if I can internalize that yet. We’re talking about the foundation of my self, decades of knowing that I was sick and less-than.

I need to chew on this for a bit- I’ll write more soon.

Thank you