Dear Roro:

“So about a year and a half ago I met a girl and we went on a couple of dates. She was the first person I’d ever been on a date with and I built up a lot of expectation in my head thinking she was ‘the one’ and that I was going to marry her etc.,  etc.”- it’s very important to learn who she is before considering that  she may be “the one”: to ask her questions, to listen to her answers and to learn about her: is she honest, is she caring, is she trustworthy.. what does she want, what does she care  about.

“So anyway she decides to call it off after those dates. A year later after we went out we start talking again… We talk a lot and I feel like I’m getting a lot of mixed signals. We talk about it..  we get closer and closer as friends over the next few months”- you didn’t communicate with her well enough, you didn’t learn what’s behind her mixed signals.. maybe her signals were not mixed and it just occurred mixed to you (?)

“I wonder whether I should rekindle our friendship or not, unsure what the best thing is for me.. Does anyone have any advice”- if you contact her, I suggest a better, more effective communication with her so that you can learn what she wants in life and what she  wants, if anything, with you, and whether you want her after knowing more about her. If you would like some help with improving your communication with her, such as in asking her questions, let me know.

Edit: I just read your post a minute before I submitted mine, that she told you that she doesn’t want a relationship with you. If you want to elaborate on this, please do.

anita

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