Dear Grace:

Reads to me that your ex-boyfriend is an extrovert and you are an introvert. After the breakup, as an extrovert, he looks outside himself (“Then told me gossip about neighbours, followed by asking me how much the council Tax was”) while you look inside yourself.. looking for what you did wrong.

The breakup followed 4 months of living with his family and 2 months living together in a flat- that’s not a long-term living-together situation, and reads like he wasn’t looking for a long-term relationship to begin with (“2 months in our new flat when he.. didn’t see a future with me.. I realise now he was never ready to move in together”). Seems to me that the breakup was bound to happen because he was not ready for a lifetime relationship.

“Was I really horrible?”- no, doesn’t read like that at all!

“Should I reach out to him and apologise for anything I may have done to push him away?”- No. It doesn’t read to me that you pushed him away. Reads to me that he was/is not ready for a lifetime relationship.

“Was I a toxic person, did he have a lucky escape getting away from me?”- I am guessing that as a little girl you felt that when bad things happen.. it was your fault (?)

anita