Dear bren:

He told you one thing, soon after, he “ended up saying the exact opposite”,  later he said he “had a lot to think about”, and yet later, he said “I don’t think I can do that”, all the while, he “is seeing someone new”.

You wrote: “I don’t know what to do. I want to make these changes for myself and build myself back up but I also want to show him and he even said it would make a difference. How long is too long to hold out?”-

My input: whatever he says at this point, including what I italicized above- doesn’t matter. As much as some of what he says sounds and feels good and ignites your hope- what he says at this time is not reliable.

My advice: make the changes for yourself that you want to make, build yourself back up, but put aside the motivation to show him anything, and to get back with him. You say that he “won’t close the door for (you and him)”- consider the door already closed, and what he tells you- muffled sounds from the other side of the closed door.

What do you think about my advice?

anita