Dear bren:

I understand that this is very hard for you. When you see him this weekend, instead of asking him for a No- calmly (best you can), ask him instead to tell you about his new relationship. It may be hard for you to process what he says when he says it, because you’ll probably be too emotional, so try to just remember what he says and when you are alone process it (I’ll try to help you with that, if you want). He may not tell you the truth, and likely not the whole truth, but what he says can still help understand his state of mind.

For the purpose of understanding his state of mind, you can- if you want to-  post for me what he told you at different times before and since the breakup- but only what he said (best you remember it), not your interpretations of what he said, and not your feelings about it. You can add necessary details for context, like what he was referring to when he said this or that.

I will be away from the computer for as long as 13 hours from now.

anita