Dear Anita,

Above, in my response to TeaK, you can see that I had a rough childhood. But I was able to reroute my thoughts as an adult for years until S cheated cheated. Again, the effects of that on my mental health are not up for debate – my current dilemma is what to do 5 years later, now in a complicated and not fulfilling relationship with M, with my ex S confessing he wishes he could be with me but he is also in a relationship…and now has cut off all communication to protect both of our relationships. It’s the pain of not being happy to begin with, and now with this mutual but inaccessible love with S.