Dear TeaK,

Yes, I definitely feel resentment coming from him. That cycle started with me asking for him to help more, and then he would redirect blame and say “well you’re home all day”, and the pity party and arrogance would begin again. He has told me that I’m unattractive when I act like his mom (ask him to put away laundry that I wash and fold for him), and I tell him that I shouldn’t have to ask 5 times for a grown man to do anything.

Whenever I talk to him about things I ask it nicely the first many times, but then I get angry after days of things not getting done. He says I should ask nicely (seems to ignore the first many times I ask) instead of getting mad. And only AFTER a fight does he then angrily do what I ask. It’s very draining and makes all other interactions strained.

I’ve told him that exact thought. That I actually do care, unlike what he was shown in his childhood, and I’m not trying to nag. And I require that care and consideration in return in actions. His mother told him growing up that she hated him because he looked and acted like his dad. So he grew up idolizing his dad (bad news) and she hated him more. That same woman is saying I’m stressing her son out and to “fuck off”, so I can only imagine how many wrong lessons in love she taught him growing up.

Oh absolutely. I told him that those words are empty without actions, and I’m not going to risk forming a family with him based off of what I’ve seen.