Thanks for the observation, TeaK. Yes, I think there could be a lot to that. My father was abusive growing up and didn’t allow for any self expression or assertiveness, plus my mother didn’t model any healthy assertiveness or boundaries either, so I developed the belief that I must always be a people pleaser and put others first. In the last few years I’ve really started to recognise how damaging this has been with my relationships with others and have started to really treasure my growing autonomy in adulthood with an aim to learning healthier boundaries with people.

My mother in law can be controlling in her behaviour and used to getting her own way, which is nowhere near as toxic as it was with my father but yes, when I think about it I do deeply resent it and find myself feeling a sense of injustice over even extremely minor things. I think it perhaps triggers flashbacks of being stuck at the mercy of someone else who didn’t have my best interests in mind. Maybe I need to try to compartmentalise this stuff better in my head and separate past from the present.