Hi TeaK,

I do not know if my parents knew the extent to which he bullied me.  I remember once in my mid-twenties I was really struggling.  I called my mom and broke down on the phone.  I told her what I was dealing with went all the way back to when I was a kid and I began to tell her some of the stuff my brother would say to me.  She said had she know he was saying things like that she would have stopped him.  I remember saying on the phone to her “how could you not have known!?!?!”

My parents are definitely not perfect, but overall I believe they did the best they could and were and still are good parents.  However, when I look back at my childhood there are a number of things I did that I think should have been red flags to them that something was up.  For example, I went from being on the A honor roll throughout junior high to not even making the B honor roll my first quarter of high school.  I stopped being involved in extra curriculars.  I stayed home on the weekends instead of getting together with people.  I stopped going to my brother’s sporting events with my parents and instead stayed home.  When my brother got his drivers license and started driving to school I continued to ride the bus instead of riding with him.

Part of me thinks my parents may have just thought I was going through a phase that I would grow out of or perhaps that I was just shy.  I do not know.

I have been talking to my dad daily lately as I have been struggling with my depression and anxiety.  I know both of my parents would do anything for me.  I just would have liked them to have been more cognizant of what I was feeling growing up and possibly have gotten me some professional help.  I have been tempted to tell my dad about the cruel things my brother used to say to me growing up, but part of me feels like it would make him feel like a bad dad.  I do not want him to feel that way because I do not consider him to be that.  He is just human and has always tried his best.

Thank you again for the reply.

Richard