Dear Aum:

Welcome back almost a year since you last posted, in later August 2020!

First the easy part for me to comment on: “I know that if I put some (literal) distance between us I can be much happier, healthier, and at peace. When I was away from them, I felt like I was my best self. My absence didn’t seem to impact them in any way, my bro in particular seems indifferent to whether I’m even in the house or not“- put a literal distance again, between you and your family (parents and brother). It’s a Win for you.. and it is not a Lose for them. A fair deal!

Second, about anger and what came first: “My parents treated him/treat him with more respect, consideration, and care because..  he isn’t emotional or temperamental… on the other hand.. had/have a bad temper, was/still am very emotional.. he is the polite, quiet, reserved and intelligent one. I’m the easily angered, opinionated, ‘disagreeable’ one“- seems to me that First, your parents favored your brother, Second, you became angry (“bad temper… very emotional… easily angered.. ‘disagreeable'”).

It is not that your brother was born to be non-emotional and you were born overly emotional and angry. What it is, is that the two of you reacted to different treatments from your parents. They encouraged him to be a certain way, and he is. They didn’t treat you as an equal to him, so you became understandably angry.

What do you think of what I wrote here so far?

anita