Dear Luna:

Welcome back to your thread!

Four years ago, you were in a relationship with him for a year while in college. You felt some safety with him during that year, I imagine, because you wrote: “Getting into this relationship made me feel better“.

After that year, you returned to your hometown and didn’t see him for three years. By the end of these three years (June 2021), it seems that you no longer felt safer with him being in your life (long-distance) and you imagined feeling safe with a someone else: “I feel that I no longer love this man… I like him, but no more than a normal friend, and I no longer feel romantically attracted to him, to the point that I always imagine myself with someone else“.

Less than a couple of months later, you broke up with him and you wrote this about your feeling of safety: “I do not feel safe anymore… I feel he was the only safe ground I had“-

– we all need safety, and the more unsafe we feel, the more we crave safety. But what is safety, can you give me your definition of safety?

anita