Dear Dave:

It would be best if you and your wife attended couple therapy/ marriage counseling. In couple therapy, a good couple therapist will teach the two of you to communicate effectively. One guiding factor in teaching effective communication between husband and wife is EAR, standing for Empathy, Assertiveness and Respect.

There are online sources, books and workbooks for couples who wish to learn to effectively communicate with each other. One such workbook is The Ultimate Relationship Workbook for Couples: Simple Exercises to Improve your Communication and Strengthen your Bond, by Ari Sytner, and another is: Couple Skills: Making your Relationship Work by Matthew McKay.

It will take some time to study and do the exercises in any of these workbooks, but it will be time very well spent because it will make it possible for the two of you to solve practical problems before those practical problems destroy the marriage altogether.

anita