Dear Michelle:

It reads to me that you are doing right by your father by looking for the best hospice facility in the country and hiring a caseworker to help with his care. On the other hand, your uncle is doing wrong by you, and by proposing that your father stays in your apartment instead of in a good hospice is the wrong suggestion for your father’s well-being in his last days.

* I wonder about your uncle attitude toward you before the most recent. I also wonder: if your uncle is so concerned with his brother going to a hospice, why doesn’t he offer for his brother to stay in his home?

I understand your frustration regarding your father not having arranged for a will for you, it is something he should have done, especially given he’s been diagnosed 11.5 years ago. Was your father responsible in other ways: paying his bills on time, insuring his house, preparing for his retirement, things like that, or did he have the tendency to postpone or neglect such things?

anita