Hi Teak, I may have given you wrong impression,  the issue with father behavior started in recent years, not in my childhood.  Bad gaze was the problem, nothing else.                              Regarding that guy, he likes me , not love me enough to become step dad to my kid. He is never married, so it might be a huge thing to him, might not sync with his goals and dreams.  As you mentioned,  it also might have to do with my behavior.  I am too much to bear ,my insecure and controlling attitude because of anxiety.  He was in a 8 year long relationship from college and had to let go of thar girl as he wasn’t settled back then. His last relationship ended in 2019 , the girl left him because he couldn’t prioritize her over his work.  We met in 2020. He behaves more human now compared to previous months. He was like a robot. If I say yes, yes..no,no. We had a big fight in April I.e me asking about his secrets. He never said a word back or argued. For whole 1 week , he sent sad selfies of himself. That is the only emotion he displayed so far. We did talk about my late husband but he was very brief about his exes. Never really opened up to me. Always puts up a happy, jovial mood. As per my perspective,  he doesn’t  care much for any woman to stay in his life forever, easily  let them go. I believe he has some friends with benefits in the place he lives and I am sure each of those might be rooting for marriage with him.  Those women might be in dark too about what he does when he travels here. If a guy is casual,  we can understand.  But if someone behaves very caring, affectionate, very much into u, remembers every single detail of what we shared and follows up with utmost sincerity, most women wait with hopes. And coming to his mom, I may have given wrong information.  She passed away years ago , a lovely,  feminine and motherly woman as per his description.  Pampered him a lot. No idea if she was a controlling type. What is that u mentioned about my needs and he disappearing ? I did not understand.