Hi Anita, my behavior  changed after I developed wrong style of attachment.  My marriage was not 100 percent roses, we had some arguments and both of us equally put effort to make it work. I was never insecure in my marriage though. We were super attached and he vanished off from the face of earth just like that ..                                                my reference to my parents is to answer Teak’s question regarding my childhood.  I believe every marriage is different  and depends on those 2 specific people’s perspective  and understanding.  It’s not hereditary. I and my siblings understand it very well, growing up seeing our parents. After my recent traits with men, now I understand why my mom behaves the way she behaves. And it’s not mirroring any way ..its not like hey don’t do that because  u ll look like that person.  It’s like telling a kid ..hey don’t smoke or else u ll die like your parent or grandparent. As per my understanding I have to find what triggers me and have to fix it. My parents have their own issues but I guess that doesn’t  have anything to do with their parents marriages.