Hey Anita,

The only thing I can change in your text is she was not always in the same intensity. Some days she was switching to silence treatment (and well this was my favourite to be honest at least the whole building is not hearing her yelling me and calling me bad names) I remember her opening the window and yelling one time that “my daughter X is selfish she makes her mum sad” , also with my friends she was saying stuff like “I am a great mum but she doesnt understand, she is bad at this she is bad at that” etc. I remember being so much embarrassed and angry. One time one of my friends was going to come and visit me (I think it was my birthday) mum made a poster written “I am the worst daughter ever, I am selfish, my mum is an angel but I love making mum sad” with a picture of me. She taped it to the most visible place in my room. I took it out but she beat me and sticked it back. I was around 12. My friend came and saw it and asked me why do I have a poster like that. I was ashamed and tell her it was a joke. Mum also bought a sticker saying Beware of the Crazy person and sticked it to my bedroom door. I turned it into a joke by creating my own papers and sticking them to my door next to them with the superhero effects. Whoosh, Bam etc. So I can say she was consistent in her abuse but she was switching between different types so it is better to say different intensities. I remember couple of times she coming near me and ordering me to hug her and saying see even though you are a bad child, i have a heart of a mother so i forgive you. I stopped obeying this as well when I got older.

She was still like that prior me leaving the house as well 5 years ago, saying stuff like you cant even survive one day.I remember telling her over and over that even she was able to, so I will do it  ×100 better.

I would love to read your related story about imagination.

Take care