Dear thatssoelsie:

You are welcome. He works as a bartender in a hotel.. even though he doesn’t drink while working (this is the rule, in the U.S.), there’s alcohol involved in the workplace and after work.  I can see coworkers calling him pet names, etc.: It is part of the work environment when alcohol is involved. Expecting a boyfriend- in an alcohol involved environment- to not be engaged in a somewhat flirtatious activity is unrealistic. I know. because I am personally familiar with this kind of workplace.  People’s inhibitions are lowered, if not because of drinking personally, then from being around people who do. I have seen countless somewhat flirtatious exchanges  between people that were harmless. As a matter of fact, I have never encountered a flirtatious activity in the taproom I frequent in the last few years that resulted in a single  sexual affair, none whatsoever. And I know, because if there was one such affair-I would have known.

“if hat’s what’s going on through text, it makes me wonder what other type of flirting can be going on in person“- nothing much, based on my experience, just people joking, trying to be funny, that’s all.

About suggestions regarding moving on: well, it depends on whether you’ve been giving him a hard time, unfairly accusing him for a long time of what he is not guilty of.. IF you have for years, then it is understandable that he would  not tell his coworkers about you.

anita

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