Hi Teak,

Honestly, no. This is about human decency and respect and being able to have a voice. There may be a small part of me that is extra driven to want respect and to have a voice because I didn’t get it as a child from either parent and yes my childhood sucked but i went through recovery for that. This about fighting to heal from a lot of shit already and now having to start all over again because of a sociopath.

Think about this: When Larry Nassar was in court for the horrible things he did to those female gymnasts, ALL of those gymnasts were allowed to come forward with letters and statements to Larry in order to speak and have a voice and get closure. I am NOT allowed that and on top of it I was made to look like I was the problem and he was somehow the victim. My whole life has been ruined because of this.

I feel I need to STRONGLY yet respectfully disagree with your stance that what his parents are doing is understandable because they are protecting their son. Some of this stance may be because I have not fully explained, though.

For example, the last time I saw my abuser, he told me to sit and talk to him and said he wanted me to have everything I ever wanted and was sorry and wanted to give me the closure I had been so badly needing. While I was waiting for him to pay his bill and leave with me to talk, he then begged me for sex, said my mom is a cunt, that I am a stupid jew, that he never laid a hand on me, etc, and when I said no I wont have sex with him because he will just be putting all his hatred onto me, he laughed and said I know. You are right. And then leaned his head back and laughed maniacally and said I won I won you lose and pointed at me then he grabbed me by the throat and choked me, and when I finally got his hand off my throat, he shoved me HARD. He was kicked out of the establishment but begged me to follow and said he was sorry and he would just talk from now on. As soon as we got in my car and headed on the interstate, he begged me for sex again saying i’d never have it as good as him and put his hands down my pants and up my shirt while I was driving and saying no. I finally said you don’t have consent really loud and said you promised you’d just talk, and he sulked. Then put his feet on my dashboard and said you know you really have an ugly car, and I said what and he said yeh a really ugly car and then he kicked the windshield and i said stop and he kicked it again really hard and busted the ENTIRE windshield while i was driving 70 down the interstate. I asked him why and he said because I can! We could’ve died! Then he called his mom and said i’ve made a mistake. I grabbed the phone and told her what happened and that I was dropping him off on the side of the road, and she insisted I bring him there. His dad pulled him out of the car when we got there and called him a dumbass and dragged hi into the house, and his mom told me she would make sure he pays to have my windshield replaced. He replaced my windshield the next day. We talked. She KNOWS what her son did. She knows many things her son did to me that was abusive.

The thing is I think they KNOW their son is a sociopath. I think they KNOW he abused me horrifically. I have tried to tell his mom so many times how her son was abusing me. Considering she is a WOMAN and the whole MeToo thing how could she know her son is so abusive and is abusive a woman and STILL lie to further traumatize a victim of abuse!? Its plain disgusting! That is not protecting their son. That is abuse! And that is enabling their sociopathic abusive son! Enabling a sociopath will only make them a better abuser! If they want to protect him, they need to get him into treatment! They say they cannot because he is a grown man and its out of their hands, but yet they come to court to lie for him?! They should protect the victim not the abuser! They know what he is!

To further illustrate, when I first met my ex he told me he wanted me to meet his parents. He said I would love his dad and he is great but beware of his mom. I asked why but he would not elaborate. When I first met them, I felt SERIOUS tension in the house. Looking back, I realize they were probably nervous that he had a girlfriend. I think he has done this before! I think they know!

Later, he told me (and I don’t know if this is true because he lies a lot) that when he was a kid his mom was a “bitch.” He said she was controlling and demanded perfection and nothing was ever good enough for her. He said she gave hi everything he ever wanted but was never there for him emotionally. Overindulgence and emotional neglect is the recipe for narcissism by the way. By his description, she sounds like a narcissist or at least someone with traits, and the way she raised him made him one. It could be but there is also a genetic component. He could have been just born this way and was lying about his childhood. Either way, though, they know! If he was born this way and is a psychopath, there would have been a childhood conduct disorder that they saw early on. If he was made and is a sociopath, surely they recognize how their parenting failed him.

From my interactions with his mother, she DEFINITELY does not have empathy and lies. It is probable she is a narc too. And they both were his flying monkeys to enable him to abuse me. This is not protecting a son! This is making him worse and a woman letting another woman be abused and the further victimizing her legally which is disgusting and in my opinion should not be enabled or diminished by saying they were just protecting their son.

Narcissism has a family dynamic. It is probably they know what he is, she made him, and she has traits too, and yes maybe they thought they were protecting him, but that is not protection nor the right thing to do. These people have blood on their hands. The blood of an innocent girl whose life was destroyed by them. They should know better and what they did was wrong.

I am terrified to reach out to them because i think they would hurt me again in some way. I also think they wont talk to me because they think I want to get revenge and am looking for evidence to use against them, but that is not me at all! I just want to have a voice!!! I just want to be able to say the truth of what happened like all those gymnasts were able to do with their abuser. I just need answers! I want respect! It is highly destructive to my wellbeing to be treated with such disrespect and have my voice taken away and not have any answers. Its like I am being told I deserved the abuse. It makes me feel worthless and like I should just die.

I am not projecting my parental issues on them. I am simply wishing for what I need to heal. Does that make sense?

• This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by MKnox.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by MKnox.