Oh I am sorry. Text can be confusing sometimes. When I wrote that if they did the right thing it would make healing easier for me and when I was describing closure I was lamenting my situation and hurt that they have done such a cruel thing to me. I wasn’t hoping they would do the right thing; I was simply venting because I know they won’t do the right thing. I was also saying true closure comes with both parties communicating and being on the same page, and i feel what I am doing is different from true closure because both parties are not involved. I am just doing everything I can to give myself a semblance of closure and do what I can to heal. I was venting because I know if they did the right thing and gave me true closure it would truly help my healing process, but unfortunately I know they will not do the right thing, so I must find productive and healthy things I can do on my own to heal myself. I know healing does not depend on them and their reaction. It is just i know if they did the right thing, it would be easier to heal. I truly believe it will be more difficult to heal without mutual respect and both parties communicating effectively but I believe I can heal without true closure – it will just be harder naturally.
Legally, I do not have a restraining order on me anymore. That has passed. I am not under any legal order now.
Also, I honestly do not know what my friend will do with the letter. He wouldn’t tell me. He just said to send the letter to him. I am not involved at all with what happens to that letter after I send it to him. He can do whatever he wants with it; I wouldn’t know and he won’t tell me. He can burn it for all I care. If he did send it to them, I wouldn’t know and I wouldnt have anything to do with it and am certainly not asking him to do so, and he does not have any previous contact with them. I am pretty sure it would be safe…. But I honestly won’t know what happens after i send it to him. it is just about getting it out on paper and giving myself closure as best I can and then being done and moving on.
Does that make sense?
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