Dear V:

“I..  make sure to give attention and care to the smallest things to my good friends, listen to them and help them. While this friend of mine is a good person and she would help me if I reached out, I just don’t feel that she gives the same amount of energy or time that I give“-

About you giving others a lot, you wrote back in June about your plan to give a lot to the future man in your life: “When I do go in a relationship, I want to give it my all” (the boldface was your addition).  Your plan at the time was: “before going into a relationship, I want to develop myself professionally, mentally, and emotionally to the fullest… and then invite another person into my life“-

– This means that you feel comfortable with the idea of giving a lot/ giving your all, but you don’t feel comfortable with the idea of receiving: this is why your plan was not to meet a man and develop together, helping each other to develop (give and receive). Instead, your plan was to develop alone and when done developing to the fullest, having a lot more to give- then have a relationship and give your all.

You also wrote back in June: “I often apply the perfectionism thinking in my day-to-day work. I feel very satisfied when I give my best effort to everything“- the boldface is my addition.

Back to your current thread: you want your friend to give you more.. but would you feel comfortable if she did? If your answer is Yes, and you are okay with another question, then here it is: what is your experience with receiving from people, how did it/ does it feel?

anita