Dear TeaK,

That’s actually something he has said he does – saying things that he doesn’t mean just to get me to lighten up, because he thinks “easing the tension fixed our relationship”. Even though the lies show up further down the road and make everything worse. To me this is very simple to understand, AND he and I have had this conversation countless times with no changes in his honesty or communication skills.

I agree about what I should do when I doubt myself. But I’m at the point where I do feel like I won’t find a person for me, and it’s all very scary.

On top of that my love for my ex has grown, despite my efforts to stay busy, and I have dreams almost every night that my “parallel universe” wish comes true – that he and I meet up again for a weekend just to hang out for me to see if the he is actually someone I should/could give a second chance and to rekindle our relationship. It’s very disorienting to wake up and find out that the truth couldn’t be further from these dreams I keep unwillingly experiencing.