Dear TeaK,

That’s a good point. Another thing to point out is how the toxicity wasn’t let out of the bag all at once. M minimized it and curated what parts I knew, always pushing only a little bit more so that it was a less bitter pill for me to swallow. I was the one that noticed that it was addiction – he never admitted to that before the last 6 months. It was like he tempered the experience for me raise the chances of me adapting to the changes as they progressively got worse. Until one day I found myself in a pit.

I completely understand that the addiction has nothing to do with me. Before yesterday I was upset but at peace with the ball being in his court and never expecting to hear that he got sober in the end.

But the cheating is what is tearing me apart. The cheating is what is telling me that I’m not good enough. And that something is inherently wrong with me.