Dear Teak,

Thank you for the warm welcome. I have yet to move–the cost of living here is a fraction of what it will be where I’m going. However, we are mandated to return to the office in mid-January, so I’ll be moving shortly after the new year.

I am apprehensive about the job, as it is not truly that fulfilling. While there is an organizational/administrative aspect to it, there is not much of any room for “giving back.” However, I do realize there is a lot to learn, and it will be more beneficial to become proficient at the job as the years go on. And I am hopeful that living near a big city will present more opportunities for social and volunteer activities.

Regarding my parents, my father was and is very warm and generous. My sister is a direct recipient of that now as she recovers from her addictions. My mother was always a bit emotionally distant. She rarely spoke of her feelings or her emotions. We (my sister and I) did feel that things were often left undiscussed. What I mean is that if something we did upset her, we would talk about it but then that was it. She would speak her mind, and we could speak ours, but it never go too deep. (I know that I’m not articulating as best as I should be here.)

I do recall one instance of her making fun of me in front of my friends. I was probably about 12-years-old and we were headed for a bike ride around the neighborhood. I had issues with my bike chain or something and I was getting upset because I couldn’t get it fixed. I recall my mother making fun of the pity party I was throwing for myself and my friends laughing. Other than being embarrassed and angry, not much more is clear. From what I recall, the bike chain was fixed and we all went for a ride. That is my most glaring memory of my mother treating me like a mother shouldn’t.

There are large parts of my childhood I simply do not remember. My sister and I will chat sometimes, and she will bring up something that happened when we were kids. Often I just do not remember the event at all. I have no idea why. I’ve brought these memory lapses up with counselors, and the response I most often get is it’s symptomatic of depression. This is why I was intrigued by the counselor who was also a hypnotist.

Ryan