Dear Reader:

When I started this thread almost six years ago, on December 2016, I listed one of the reason for people lie to be this: “2. Power-over: people lie to have power over other people, for various benefits. This happens within families, in the work place and in other contexts“-

– I have a better understanding of this very reason today, following reviewing a thread that is no longer active, a thread by a member who is similar to my mother in a fundamental way, and as a result, gaining a new understanding into my own mother:

She lied to me so to rationalize and excuse Dominating and Abusing me. She lied to me so to have an Intellectual Basis from which to spring forth domination and abuse. She lied when she claimed that I was trying to hurt her, and doing so intentionally, because this claim justified why she was about to intentionally hurt me. She lied when she claimed that I was worthless, “a big zero” as she worded it, because this claim excused her treating me like a big zero. She lied when she claimed that I was a bad little person, because this claim justified why she was about to be a bad person herself, and purposefully hurt me.

Truth was of no value to her. Truth was to be distorted and lied about any which was so to intellectually excuse what she was about to say and do to me.

Somehow it is easy to write about lies and abuse when it comes to other people’s parents, compared to when it comes to your own mother. You don’t want to believe that your own mother is like this, has been like this, that you were stuck with a mother like that. It is such a distasteful reality, you don’t want it to be true, you reject it, push it away whenever it touches awareness, forget it best you can, but not quite. There is something so fundamentally wrong with a mother doing this, it is unnatural, so it feels, incomprehensible, an unwanted reality.

anita