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Dear Isabel:
If you committed a crime and it would have benefited the victim/s of your crime, or society in general, if you confessed- then I would have suggested that you confess and suffer the consequences, but you did not commit a crime and it wasn’t a full-blown affair: there are no victims (other than you, for feeling so badly).
There are two possibilities as I see it: (1) As a child, you felt like a bad daughter, feeling that you made terrible mistakes that made any one of your parents’ lives difficult, and that guilt shifted to the not-quite an affair that you had, (2) You really want out of your marriage, but you don’t know how to make it happen, so you are tempted to confess to your husband, so that he will leave you.
Any of these possibilities, or both, true?
anita