Dear Anita,

Sorry again, we’ve had a bereavement in the family which has been tough to deal with.

You are right, about not doing things for the wrong reasons. I feel most of the time (thankfully), I am helping past and current romantic partners purely out of a feeling of care for them. But of course sometimes the feeling of trying to help my self esteem do creep in.

That makes a lot of sense about the self esteem issues coming from the interactions with my mother as a child. I feel we’ve touched on this before, but more recently I have been talking with new potential romantic options and feel I get very attached quite quickly and have these abandonment issues arise as well. I feel if I am being mindful of these, I can help understand them better. I am going to speak to my counsellor again, as I’ve had a few months off. So it will be good to talk through these things in person again.

I feel I get attached to romantic partners quickly because again of my childhood, that I am searching to be loved and wanted, if that makes sense?

I hope you are well,

Dave