Dear Anita,

I dont know how you do it but you manage to bring some sense of clarity to me! Thank you.

As for the last point, It is very tempting honestly, it tore me apart. Him saying that sparked something me like maybe he did change and finally gets me and maybe we can start correctly this time especially because  such a kind and loving soul. But to be honest for the first time ever im resisting this temptation even if it scares me because for the first time ever this dynamic of him finally showing signs of change and how he can get me for real this time does not add up, i longed for a connection from the start but to have that connection after several years and to start all over again seems like it could lack the genuine/nature feel it should have even if he is really genuine in his understanding me after all this time. I know he means well and i see all his efforts and despite how tempting that is ,despite that it feels like im losing a really great person who loved me wholeheartedly , something just seems off about the fact of starting all over again but this time i am being seen. i hope it makes sense