To canary:

“I usually write in these threads like a big brain dump” – your writing is generally exceptionally organized, from your very first thread and onward (I pointed this to you earlier): it does not appear at all to be a brain dump.

When you are confronted with contradictions, you make up distinctions on the spot, so to explain away the contradictions. The distinctions did not exist in your mind before being confronted. For example, in your first thread, you described your ex-boyfriend as your soulmate, and a very kind and empathetic man. In your second thread, you described him as fitting the Asocial Personality Disorder diagnosis. When I confronted you with this contradiction, you came up with the following distinction (a lie): he is Asocial with other people, BUT he is very kind and empathetic with his loved ones (and you were one of his loved ones).

In your current, 4th thread, you presented this contradiction: “I’ve forgiven them completely… I get very angry at this person“. The contradiction is in the word “completely” (I understand that the process of forgiveness is complicated). When I confronted you with this contradiction, you came up with the following distinction: you do get angry at him, BUT you don’t consciously have the urge to seek revenge against him.

In my recent post to you I confronted you with another contradiction: you were very anxious before your ex-boyfriend came into your life, and yet you are angry at your ex-boyfriend for having caused your anxiety. Having been confronted, you made up the following distinction: “I’m not angry at him for not being able to give me what I needed during our relationship, the anger is from after the breakup. Which he insulted me, disrespected me, and treated me very poorly” –

In your 4 threads, you didn’t share a single detail of an insult, or another disrespectful behavior on his part. You came up with this lie today. I don’t believe anything you say, canary.

You asked me: “are you recommending me a psychotherapist that is different from a therapist?” – in the context of mental health, the words therapist and psychotherapist are synonymous.

I am recommending for you to try really hard to stop making stuff up so to explain away old stuff. Every time you do that, it’s like you are trying to clear away old garbage by (neatly) adding new garbage on top of it. The result is more garbage, not less! If you want therapy to work for you, you have to be honest, to be… intellectually congruent and consistent about what you do know to be true. You can’t lie to a therapist and expect to be helped.

The above is my understanding following communicating with you, re-reading and studying your 4 threads over the span of more than a year. I will no longer post on any of your threads, past, current or future. I hope that you continue to communicate with other members, and that in your communication with them, that you will be honest and intellectually congruent and consistent about what you know to be true.

anita

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