Dear Lily Margarette:

Again, you don’t have to answer any of my questions. The reason I am asking is to understand you and your situation better and hopefully lead to your own better understanding. When communicating with members and sharing about my experiences, I get to understand myself better. The quotes that follow are from your September 2021 thread.

1) “After 12 years of marriage and 18 years being together” – didn’t you get to know him, his father and sisters during those six years, and if you did, why did you marry him?

2) “I’m sick of him always putting me and the kids in 2nd place!” – as a child and in the context of your family of origin (parents, siblings, etc.), did you feel that you were treated as someone in 2nd (or 3rd etc.,) place?

3) “I’ve always been able to speak up for myself and I’m the kind of person to be extremely honest if someone has upset me” – when did you start speaking up for yourself, as a child? In what circumstances did it happen that you started speaking up for yourself? Also, what do you mean by extremely honest?

anita