Dear Sesha:

“Every time (the suffocating feelings) come out, they drain my energy, paralyze me and make me a very uncomfortable person to be around…. It feels good to be calm and confident in my own skin… Therefore those “suffocating feelings” are a barrier to me… I don’t know how else I can accept those “suffocating feelings”” – these suffocating feelings are very uncomfortable, they are causing you distress, they drain you, and they are the opposite of feeling calm, stable, comfortable, confident, energetic and refreshed. I am not suggesting that you start liking them, or that you stop disliking them. It is not possible to like (or to not dislike) discomfort, distress and pain.

By accepting them, I mean (1) Stop wishing that they will go away, this wishing in itself makes you feel worse,

(2) Don’t add bad on top of bad by panicking, catastrophizing, adding negative thoughts to the mix and making the experience worse for you, more distressing and more exhausting than it would be if you didn’t panic. It is similar to having a bad foot cramp: if you panic, you will feel worse and for longer. If you relax amidst the pain, the cramp will hurt but overall, you will not feel as bad, and not for as long, and when it’s over, you’d feel more confident because you endured it without panicking.

Let me know if my explanation is of any help, we can continue to talk about what accepting them means.

anita