Dear June:

Good to read back from you, I am fine, thank you, you are welcome, and congrats for a month of an exclusive relationship! Every woman who is anxious about having this kind of talk with a man she’s dating should read your recent post and your whole thread for context. You did very well in these regards: (1) Timing- you chose a time when the two of you were “pretty chill just spending time together”, as opposed to a time when any one of you were stressed or busy,

(2) Clarity- you were clear about what you wanted before the conversation: “I also had a very clear understanding about what exclusive dating I had in mind, so it’s very clear for me to explain to him”,

(3) Start- You started with a positive affirmation: telling him you had a lot of fun with him, (4) Presentation- you presented the idea of an exclusive relationship with you as his Gain (more fun with you), not as his Loss (no fun with other women).

“He is a Nomad, we met in Asia (and still in Asia now), and his community (close friends) are traveling back to EU next month… I am a bit worried about this part tho. I asked him if he would be lonely without his friends” –

– It is valid to be concerned about him being lonely without the physical presence of his close friends but watch for the habit of your Anxious Attachment to kick in from time to time and calm it down every time it kicks in. You don’t want to add ongoing worry and overthinking on top of a valid concern. (Rein over that “overthinking ass at night lol”!),

– Remember that it worked before to present yourself in his life as his Gain, not as his Loss (the loss of his close friends being there physically in his life, in this case). Imagine how lonely he would be without you if he moves away.

anita