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Good evening, Anita.
That’s some interesting thinking and I appreciate the thought you’ve put into your detailed response.
To be honest, my parents are actually pretty fantastic though. My mother especially raised me exceptionally well. And I could see- and can still see- that she tries her absolute best with my brothers and I. She is involved, insightful and actively loving. I should clarify that the “strange fish” comment was one she picked up from an old friend of his, as that’s what he used to call him. She tried very hard to get him to open up to her and, by her own admission to me, was always just worried that if she pressed him too hard that she’d ultimately push him away. She has very high emotional intelligence and is a really admirable mother.
My dad is not as emotionally fine- tuned as my mother but he tried very hard with all of us to talk to us and guide us in the right direction. There was genuinely never a shortage of love or attention. But I do understand why you might have extrapolated that from my other replies. It does, however, make my brother much harder to understand.
I was speaking with my husband about the situation earlier and he thinks the best way forward may be to just pretend to my parents that my brother and I have resolved things and it’s fine. Sounds dreadful but we don’t live in the same county so it may actually be the simplest option.