Dear Cal:

“She began getting snappy with me, would have big mood swings… said it’s all too much… she pushed me away. She didn’t communicate as much and didn’t want to spend time together”-

– she was snappy-angry at you for a while, sometimes very angry (“big mood swings”). She felt that you were too much (you were part of the all, in “all too much”). For a while, she didn’t want to communicate with you or spend much  time with you,  and 3 weeks ago, she broke up with you because she didn’t want to spend any time with you, and she didn’t want to communicate with you at all.

“I want to make sure she’s okay as she told me I understand her the most but equally, I am conflicted as I can’t reach out and help as I must look after myself too. Do I reach out? Do I wait?”- I think that what will be helpful to her is that you do not reach out to her because she doesn’t want you to reach out to her (she broke up with you and did not contact you since asking for help, did she?)

Sometimes helping someone takes not doing.  I am sorry about your emotional pain following this breakup and I hope that you do look after yourself.

“Confused and upset” is part of the title you chose for your thread. Maybe I can help you gain some clarity and maybe clarity will make you feel better. You wrote: “She began to question.. every friendship (even her closest friends who I can see care deeply for her)“- understanding what she was questioning about her closest friends can shine some light on what she was questioning about you. Would you like to explore this?

anita