Hi Eric

If you think about it this way, communication takes practice. In an important situation, say speaking to a girl you like or someone that you want to be friends with it is going to be stressful for you without practice. This is why starting out small and frequently practicing is important. It prepares you for when you do get around to an important conversation and because of practice you would feel more confident in your ability to handle the situation and less stressed. Stress does cause mistakes in communication. So lowering the stress with practice is very important.

In my experience, social anxiety is not really about other people (aside from ptsd triggers with bullying). A large component is how you feel about yourself because really it is not others judging you, it is about you judging yourself. I bet that girl really didn’t think too much about that encounter, yet you spent the evening berating yourself. You really do need to be kinder to yourself.