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Dear Eric:
I understand your frustration. I didn’t share with you about my past experience with this kind of frustration, but there was plenty of it. I know how it feels to want something very much… and at the same time, to walk away from it. In your case, you want a relationship with a girl, but on the other hand, like it happened in the mall, you are too afraid to be negatively judged by a good looking girl… so, you walked away.
You didn’t walk away because you are stupid; you walked away because you are afraid. Then you got angry with yourself, as if walking away from the girl was a stupid mistake that you should be punished for. But NO, it was not a stupid mistake: it was fear. Fear does not respond well to punishment. It responds well to empathy and understanding.
The more you punish yourself for being afraid, the more afraid you will be. Oh how I wish you will be empathetic and understanding with yourself, particularly when you are afraid!
anita