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Hi Anita,
Thank you so much for replying. My conversation with my ex was ABOUT our past sex life, but it wasn’t like we were “sexting” if that make sense. He also mentioned that he’s moving very far soon so I think this also maybe triggered my overly honest confession.
My sex life with my current partner is not by any means unsatisfactory but rather it’s just not AS good as the old one with my ex. I don’t think I’ll ever have that kind of feeling with anyone else again and I’m okay with that. I thought I could see him and these things wouldn’t surface but I was so terribly wrong.
Like I previously mentioned, he was a good person and still is but he wasn’t the best boyfriend (like my current partner is) so I don’t miss the emotional aspect of our relationship.
Mainly, I just feel so guilty for giving in to my drunken selfish thoughts and continuing the conversation when I know it was wrong, it just felt good in the moment. I feel shameful and like my current partner deserves better.
I’ve never done anything like this and I consider myself a loyal and truthful person. I hate to think I might’ve damaged our beautiful relationship in some way.
I agree with you that not telling him is the correct path because it will only hurt him, especially because it didn’t mean anything in the grand scheme. I’m just not sure how to forgive myself and move on.