Hi Arabella

Personally, I don’t think it’s quite cheating since there was no sexting and no emotional element. However, it’s not great either. On the plus side, despite being drunk you maintained a level of propriety making sure not to cross that boundary into sexting.

I think it entirely depends on the nature of your partner and culture whether talking about the issue is appropriate. If your partner has stable mental health and is a reasonable individual it would be an uncomfortable or even a difficult conversation but likely it would be possible to move past it without causing harm. However, if your partner already has difficulties they could struggle and be hurt by this.

If your partner is stable, then personally I value honesty over hiding it to avoid a difficult conversation. I think being honest shows that there is nothing worth hiding.

That being said, we don’t know the contents of the text exchange so it is hard to gauge accurately.

How do you think that your partner would react?

When it comes to forgiving yourself. Generally, how I approach it is acknowledging what I have done and apologising while committing to not making the same mistake again.

Whilst you believe that you are loyal and honest, it sounds like there are some challenges with that. The question is why? Is there anything underlying?