Hi Arabella

I don’t think anyone would react in a positive way but the question is would the response be reasonable and proportinate?

You were drunk which lowers inhibitions. You made a mistake, it’s not a huge problem.

I’m not suggesting that you divulge everything. There is no need to mention painful details that would only hurt him. He is your partner, not a priest. The purpose of discussing the issue would be to treat him with respect.

There’s a good chance that he could be insecure for a time because you breached your partners  trust. Perhaps you would have to earn that trust back, being a loyal partner this should not pose an issue as you have nothing to hide.

Previously, you had never been disloyal or dishonest. But dishonesty is very much what you are considering now and flirting with an ex isn’t being loyal.

Do you think that it is better to flirt with an ex or a stranger / an acquaintance? For me, I would consider flirting with an ex worse because it means that there are some underlying feelings.

It’s not about relieving guilt, it is about being honest, treating your partner with respect and accepting that actions have consequences.

Telling him wouldn’t change what happened, but it would mean that you keep your honesty and you would be breaching his trust once as opposed to twice. The second breach of trust being hiding the issue. There is a difference between a drunk breach of trust and a sober one.

I think the only good reason not to divulge this is if your partner isn’t emotionally stable or if he could react in an unreasonable way. What kind of problems would you imagine could occur? Could this issue significantly damage the relationship? If so, it seems like there could be some issues with the relationship.