Dear helcat,

Circumstances are neither good or bad. Lots of people aren’t close with their families. Lots of people don’t have cousins. Lots of people are shorter.

What determines how you feel about something is the way that you think and view the world. At the moment, you do so through a lens of depression.

You can learn to change this in time. I think it would be more accurate to say that you feel lonely because of your social anxiety and tendency towards self-hatred. What do you think?

I tried learning to change how i view the world, like i tried to be happy with my family condition, no cousins, my short body, and my other weaknesses……

But social media always causes me to feel insecure….. like people could post about how big and happy their families are, how most posted a pic of them in their average/tall bodies, hanging out with their cousins….

All i wanted is only to reach “average”….. but this world says otherwise…..

I dont have an average amount of cousins (i have none), i dont have an average quite big of a family, i dont have an average height……

Yes you can say i feel lonely is due to my social anxiety, but it’s mostly caused by my height…… i keep being cautious on how people might perceived me as “below average” when they look at my height, so i mostly spend my time at my room…….. Even in my uni days i didnt went to a club, although i wanna try enjoying it like how young people does….. But i know it’ll be pointless for a short guy, it wont attract anyone…..

I have difficulties in swallowing food, and this isnt my fault at all…. it happens when i’m 1/2 years old…… Which causes me to have to drink water every time i swallow…. This “might” cause the lack of nutrition, that causes me to be short…. but im not sure either…..but it doesn’t matter anymore, i cant change my height…..

I’m very sensitive on my weaknesses…..

Like for example when i thought of chasing a girl, i keep wondering why do i have so many weaknesses, and there are irreversible ones like my height and family issues…. Although i have lots of weaknesses, i always aim someone with a good quality…. like i keep wanting a high quality girl with an appearance that i like….. This makes it harder…… Most people with weaknesses arent picky…

I keep comparing other people’s happiness with my flaws….. (like families, etc)….