Hi Anonymous!

Sorry for the late reply! How are you doing? It’s been a busy weekend. I am looking forward to this calmer week.

I think it’s unlikely that anyone would find out what happened.

I would agree with your ex that the conversation between you was not malicious. Personally, I think that what happened is like your parents, a very human forgivable mistake. If your partner found out, I would expect him to forgive you. If he did not I think it would be throwing away a loving relationship over a small mistake which would be a very big mistake. It is hard to find a good relationship!

I wonder if you have a subconscious fear of rejection stemming from that moment in childhood? What do you think?

This kind of worrying about the worst case is called catastrophising. Usually, for me it is a sign that my anxiety has spiked. It can be helpful to practice self-care to soothe and reduce anxiety.

The “reason” I used to catastrophise is that I believed it would help me prepare for a bad situation if it did actually happen. But this was a lie, I told myself. Really all it does is upset.

I wonder, do you have any reasoning why the carastrophising persists?

I’m glad that you are forgiving yourself and moving on. I hope that you figure out how to manage the catastrophising soon. Wishing you all the best! 🙏