Hi MJ

Well done on protecting yourself! It was wrong for your friend to treat you that way.

You mentioned that this incident caused a lot of anxiety. How are you feeling now? Has it settled any?

Sometimes people say cruel things when they themselves are suffering. I’m sure to be cruel to you, your friend was in pain. It is not fair that they chose to lash out at you in a unhealthy, unskilled attempt to cope with their own pain.

If you are usually close with your friend, give them time. Perhaps they will apologize once whatever is going on with them has settled.

There is also another possible thing to consider. Sometimes when developing healthy boundaries people are not used to it. They are used to older, less confrontational habits. Protecting boundaries can cause arguments as people tend to not know how to respond your new strength. This person may have been flustered by you calling them out on a “subtle dig”. Unless you asked, they would have been unlikely to directly insult you.

There are some assertive communication strategies online that can be helpful when confronting people. I found researching various strategies helpful when developing my own boundaries.