Dear Anonymouscat:

“We are in different countries… She says her parents won’t approve… Basically she would be giving up everything her family/friends to come be with me. Am I being selfish?“-

– If the plan is that she will travel to your country for a visit with you and then go back to her family and friends in her own country, then yes, it would be selfish of you to have her visit you.

If the plan is that she travels to your country for a life together with you, as a wife, and if the two of you have a practical plan to make such a life-together possible in your own country, then it wouldn’t be selfish of you to have her travel to your country.

You wrote “the reason I haven’t gone to visit her was because of COVID“- but you want her to travel to your country in spite of Covid? I mean, if you are worried about your health, aren’t you worried about her health?

“I have been dating a girl online for 2.5 years. We love each other and talk to each other daily… We met only online we video chat or call every day for past 2.5 years“- you’ve been virtually dating, virtually loving each other. Not in real-life.

In summary, two thoughts: (1) I don’t think that it is a good idea for her to visit you because if she does, she’d have lots of trouble with her family and friends when she returns to her own country.

(2) I don’t think that it would be a good idea for her to travel for the purpose of living with you as a life-partner if the two of you do not have a practical-financial plan to make it happen. Also, what if you met irl for the first time.. and any one of you does not like the other in real-life?

anita