Thank you so much for your reply. Hearing the thoughts of other really help to make myself feel more validated because I know so much of this is self sabotage. It is hard to me to really see that though because I don’t feel like my life growing up was anything out of the ordinary, my family had their hardships, but I never felt unloved by my parents, I don’t think. I think because there isn’t one single event that may have caused they anxieties I am having, it is really really hard for me to pin point where I should try to start healing. I do understand this is why my therapist is trying to go through my childhood and in the long run I think it will be helpful to me, but right now I was really looking for some immediate relief from these thoughts. They are so hard to combat as not true, it really feels like I can’t trust myself because it is my own brain shouting unwanted things at me. I have a hard time trusting myself due to my anxiety and it makes me feel like I am in an impossible, never ending loop.