Dear celeste:

I think that it is a  good idea that you tell your daughter (firmly but kindly) to no longer talk to you about her father, because it activates your trauma in regard to him, and it is of no benefit to her. I am sure that your daughter talked about you and her father to counselors in the drug addiction treatment programs she attended, and I hope that she still attends some counseling!

Good news is that she started a job today, congratulations to her!  I think that you can start downsizing (if you haven’t so far), and that you downsize every day in preparation to sell the house. Preparing the house to be sold will take a long time, I imagine, enough time to mentally prepare your daughter to the sale, so that she can practically prepare herself as well: continue her job, save money for a move, etc.

anita