Dear Famaz:

“I felt superior, and that made everything much harder, but when I realized I’m not special, that made it much more tolerable“- I very much relate. Life is much more tolerable for me these days because I know that I am neither superior to any of the billions of people currently inhabiting the earth, nor am I more special than any one particular person. It is indeed such a relief to come down from up there where I do not belong (superior/ special).

Also, feeling inferior and superior are two sides of the same coin: I felt inferior much of the time and I felt superior from time to time, so to compensate.

“I fell with my parents from a pedestal back then, but I wasn’t crushed actually I am happier now“- placing anyone (including oneself) on a pedestal makes for an unhappy life.

“By villain I meant bad people who do bad things on purpose, I sometimes think my dad was hurting me on purpose“- when person X hurts person Y while feeling anger at person Y, there is an intent to hurt. The intent to hurt is inherent in ANGER.

“He had grown up a lot after my mom’s death, before that, he was like a little boy… I had never thought about it“- some people keep us the same; other people make it possible for us to expand: to become more than we were before.

“With people who are in your life who hurt you in the past… and you want them to be in your life: once you forgive them can you trust them again?“- depends if they did enough (if anything) to deserve and earn your forgiveness and trust.

“people who did one mistake and try to somehow make up for that, do you trust them again?“- if you are referring to a forgivable human mistake, then yes.

“I think trust (is a) step further than forgiveness“- I think that trust and forgiveness go hand in hand when it comes to people who deserve your forgiveness and trust. When they do, you keep doing both: forgiving and trusting, trusting and forgiving. When you forget one or the other, you remind yourself that you too make mistakes, and that you too will fail other people from time to time (and hope that you too will be forgiven… and trusted again).

anita