Dear Katrine Nielsen:

Thank you, Katrine! Reading the short, empathetic post you submitted for me, made me realize how very good you are at expressing empathy. I am touched and impressed at the same time. You are empathetic and kind. I used to distrust empathy, expecting something bad to follow it, but I am getting better at accepting it instead of being suspicious of it.

I want to reciprocate your empathy in this post by expressing some for you, in regard to the very first sentences you shared on tiny buddha (August 12, 2020, original post): “So this is hard for me, but here goes. I’m finding myself in a Deep Black hole and I don’t know how to get out of it. A bit about me. I’m a 30 year old woman who have struggled with severe anxiety, depression and stress starting at the age of 7. I’ve experienced bullying, physical and mental abuse, emotional blackmail and gaslighting. I’ve been in a constant battle of trying to keep my head above water as well as others’, because if I don’t give my all they tell me that I’m selfish“-

-You are NOT selfish, Katrine. I am sorry that you have suffered from severe anxiety, depression and stress for most of your life, that you experienced bullying, and abuses of all kinds, and that you’ve lived in a constant battle to keep your head, and your mother’s head (and sister’s, and father’s?), above water for so many years. As I was typing a moment ago, it occurred to me that the Deep Black hole you referred to, could be what drowning feels like (the drowning that happens when you get exhausted keeping your head above water). Maybe you are still living in this state of trying to keep your head above water and drowning at the same time.

My intent in this post was to express empathy, but as you can see, I have a strong tendency to venture into analysis. You are welcome to ignore the latter. I hope that you soon feel much better than you have felt for a long time and that your New Year’s Eve birthday will be way better than you expect!

anita